Let’s get a life or something kinda like it !
Is this you, my friend – a bum extraordinaire?
Now, what do you do when you are – well, let’s face it, indeed a bum! Or has indeed become a bum? Contrary to the popular belief, being (or becoming) a bum is a highly complex and complicated position in life anyone ever has to take or accept. While some seem to totally enjoy being a bum, having chosen that position over many other more viable ones, to most other bums, that position is actually forced on them. It could be by sickness or other disabilities, by recession or lack of job opportunities, by the equally potent lack of knowledge and skills, and even by the lack of a good family upbringing.
Aint no fun being a bum!
Obviously. When an illness suddenly puts a stop to your own regular paycheck, and yet because of such illness, you are expected to incur even more expenses – it simply is hard to accept of course.
When your company just is not able to bring in more projects or sales and your job just is not that indispensable after all, and everywhere you look the story is the same, you go home to your wife or husband who has managed to keep her or his job or you go home to your elderly parents and use up a sizable chunk of their limited resources. It’s a big blow to your ego! (And most probably also very challenging for your stomach. If you are a bit on the thoughtful side, you might skip some meals to lessen the burden you’re putting on your family‘s finances.)
Or, when for some reason you are not able to keep your knowledge and skills up-to-date, nobody hires you. Or your family is simply not the kind that brings up an employable person so you still don’t have a job. Sure, being (becoming) a bum can make you feel so useless and hopeless and think of the various ways you can quit the whole universe. It can also make you want to just stay in the couch or in your room forever (further cementing all those bum stereotypes). It’s a very weakening situation and the urge to get (get back) some power for yourself is never as strong, it can make you aggressive or take up defense mechanisms, a thing that most people fail to understand.
But hope floats…
Hang in there! Even if things don’t get better, your feelings about your being (becoming) a bum can get better. I mean, instead of seeing a very dead-end life, you may start to see it less so after a good cry or some rest. Seize that moment and hold fast to it. Keep being hopeful. Positive things happen to positive-thinking people many people say, and this may be true.
… only please start doing something!
Anything. Positive of course. Anything that gives you even that tiniest of advance towards that break from the bum cycle. The following are some of the things you can preoccupy yourself with while you technically are a bum (still a bum).
- Happy thoughts or self-affirmations. Enough with the debilitating self-pity. Your illness, your termination from your job, your lack of knowledge and skill, your unfavorable family upbringing or whatever it is that has made you a bum are facts that are truly saddening, but cloaking yourself with sadness won’t get you anywhere and will make all your past efforts at living life a futile exercise. They’re not. However little they were, they were a testament to what better things you can do and what a better person you can become.
- Learning some skill/s. Check with your local government or church and see whether they have programs that offer free skills training or knowledge enhancement seminars. Most local government units have such programs and some churches hold classes such as baking, sewing, carpentry, cosmetology and the like in an attempt to help their flock get some means of earning a living and empower them. Check the web. It’s a great resource. Educate yourself.
- Being more sociable and helpful. Even when you are terribly ill and so confined to your family’s house – a “burden,” which makes you grumpy, learn to smile a bit more and if you can’t crack a joke, at least talk openly with your family. Your family is most definitely also suffering very much and needs that consideration from you. Or defy the urge to be totally useless. Help around in the house. If you have young nephews and nieces, you can volunteer to look after them. You can even use whatever little you know and tutor them. Help cook. Offer to do the dishes. Tend the garden. And even though not being able to get a job is sometimes something out of your control, staying at home day in day out doing nothing, you see, is your decision. Go out, see those people who you think will be able to help you get that skill or that job you need.
- Routines that build up your confidence and strength to break free. If it is your family that enables you to become a bum and the environment in your home is chaotic, you owe it to yourself to try and get a better life elsewhere. But don’t run on empty so to speak – setting off without any gear. Again, learn some skills first however lowly they may be and check where you can get help.
Being a bum is not what any person in his or her right mind aspires to be.
It hardly ever is the way to live. Nobody wants to be financially dependent on anyone, but sometimes circumstances don’t give us that. I guess what makes your bum period less difficult are your honest efforts to stay productive and your firm resolve not to stay a bum forever.
Check this other useful link here. It will prove useful as you navigate the morass of everyday life.